Choosing Yourself First
Our first principle is built on the belief that you deserve to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty by establishing boundaries, understanding what your restorers and depletors are, and finding how self-care looks for YOU!
Personally, I come from a long line of strong, intelligent women who could casually take over the world on a Friday afternoon while looking gorgeous, having a full-time career, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everyone else. However, their own needs often fell to the bottom of their to-do lists, leading to a generational pattern of guilt whenever they dared to put themselves first, even if it's just for 5 minutes. Sounds familiar?
Here's what I've learned on my journey:
Set Aside Dedicated Time for Yourself: Ironically, if you set dedicated time for yourself to refill your cup, you'll have the energy, mental strength, and health to help more people and do more with your time.
Prioritize Your Needs: If everything is urgent, then nothing is. There's always going to be a "problem" or a person that needs your attention (and yes, kids fall into that category too).
Schedule Your "Me" Time: There's never a "good" time to book some time for yourself, so just do it - book that me time! Schedule your care time and make it a priority. Unless it's a matter of life and death, nothing comes between you and your care time.
Identify Your Restorers and Depletors: Find what your restorers (gives you energy back) and what your depletors (takes energy from you) are, and book your care time around your restorers.
Embrace Affordable Self-Care: Self-care doesn't have to break the bank. Your "me" time doesn't have to be expensive. It can even be a walk listening to your favorite music 🎧 while the rest of your phone is on DND.
Rituals Last: Whether it's weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, schedule your self-care like a coveted reservation you can't afford to miss. Make it a recurring, non-negotiable part of your routine. It's a MUST; don't talk yourself out of it!
What I've also learned is that self-care is what you need it to be.
It can be a day off because you've been working a lot and neglected yourself, it can be a new career path that requires a lot of effort and time, it can be a 5-minute meditation in your 12-hour back-to-back meetings day because your stakeholders are all over the globe, it can be a full day workshop after a 8h flight to set your future self up for success or it can be the classic bubble bath and face mask. Choose what you need in that moment or period in your life.
Chris Do workshop May 2023
Learn how to put yourself first without feeling guilty, establish boundaries, and make decisions that align with your values and aspirations by practicing and investing time in:
Self-Discovery: Leaving aside trends, what other people think, like and dislike, do, practice or believe in - What do you like? What do you think you should do, practice or believe in?
Finding and Setting Your Boundaries: Think about past situations that didn't serve you and you wish they could have gone better. I'm sure your gut/intuition was telling you what was too much or crossed the line. Explore that and find your boundaries. Reflect on past experiences to understand your limits and establish clear boundaries.
Finding Your Restorers and Depletors: Simply put, who or what gives you back energy or takes it away from you.
Defining Your Core Values: Again, leaving the trends aside and what other people think - What do you stand for? What is important to you? What matters most to you?
Self-Reflection:
Keep notes on what contributed to your levels of energy (good or bad).
Weekly retrospectives: which of these items that I've done this week brought me joy and what took joy, effort, or energy away from me.
Do I need a period of disconnection? Solo time?
Do I need to meet people constantly (especially if you're an extrovert)?
Are there any activities that break my day-to-day thinking loop and give me a break?
What are my signs and symptoms that I'm running on fumes? Can I see a pattern before that happens?
What’s my SuperPower?
In the fast-paced world we live in, it's essential to prioritize self-care and self-reflection. Remember that choosing yourself first and self-care comes in different forms:
Choosing yourself first can look like just a bath and a massage, a spa day, but it can also look like getting up every morning and consistently showing up in the gym, taking up that challenge, and raising your hand in that meeting to voice your opinion.
Choosing yourself can look like a night in to watch a movie or going out to a concert.
Choosing yourself first means that you can say "no" to meeting that person or people that require more of your energy, or "yes" because you'll get more energy in return.
