Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You
To make room for growth, it's essential to let go of what no longer serves you. This principle can guide you in releasing limiting beliefs, unproductive habits, toxic relationships, and career choices that don't align with what you want in your life.
If you've been following our principles, you likely have your goals, values, and dreams clearly defined. Now, it’s time to take it up a notch. Consider the habits, beliefs, relationships, or jobs that no longer serve you.
Think about it this way: What got you here won’t get you there. Is it sustainable to maintain a chaotic lifestyle if you pushed yourself to the limit in your teens or twenties to ramp up knowledge and experience rapidly? Is it sustainable to stare at a screen 24/7, without actually moving, every day of the week? It's acceptable to push through to pay rent or to learn as much as possible, but you won't grow if your toolkit remains unchanged as you go through life. This can leave you feeling stuck in a frustrating déjà vu loop.
The tools you need at 15, (e.g your ability to recover from a sleepless night), are not the same ones we have or need at 20 or 40. It’s crucial to reassess your toolbox, removing some tools and adding others as needed. Let’s do a brain dump for 2 categories: “What no longer serves me” AND “What I need to do more of” at this stage of your life. I’ll start:
What no longer serves me:
Refusing to ask for or accept help from friends or family
Always "making it work," taking it upon myself to solve problems that aren’t mine to fix. It’s not my responsibility to fix everything, especially other people’s problems
Staying where I am undervalued and unappreciated
Pressuring myself to move fast at ALL times
Neglecting my health
Attending events just for the sake of it
Being affected by others’ actions or decisions, which distracts from my goals
Perfectionism
What I need to do more of:
Betting on myself
Learning how to pivot early
Prioritizing my health, both mental and physical
Taking some risks (not using the YOLO “concept” here, but statistically speaking women tend to be a lot more risk averse than men, including in their careers)
Being present
Carving time to be creative and doing things that bring joy
Staying focused on my goals and dreams
Making consistent progress, not aiming for perfection
Reflect on what currently feels limiting in your life. What frustrates you and holds you back from reaching the next level? It could be anything from achieving your ideal physical health to professional growth.
When there’s a ceiling that seems like solid concrete and no matter what you do you just can’t move forward, ending up in the same place over and over again, then it's time to let go of what no longer serves you.
Easier said than done, and you’ve likely heard all of it before. However, I’m here to serve as your virtual coach and to ask some questions that can give you a head start.
For each item that no longer serves you, write down the answers to the following:
What have you tried so far and why has it failed? Are there any common patterns or denominator(s)?
What are the habits that keep coming back when life happens? (it’s easy to stay on track when everything’s peachy)
Where did you pick up the habits and why?
How can you let go of what no longer serves you?
What do you need more of?
Here’s how I would break down the first item on the list: “Refusing to ask for or accept help from friends or family”
What have you tried so far and why has it failed? Are there any common patterns or denominator(s)?
I tend to withdraw and isolate myself when there’s a lot happening on all fronts, avoiding social interaction because I lack patience for small talk and interest in common topics. I noticed that I often change the subject quickly when the topic of receiving help comes up.What are the habits that keep coming back when life happens? (it’s easy to stay on track when everything’s peachy)
Keeping things for myself, not addressing and letting go of issues. I’ve always been able to be independent and go through things by myself. Taking life too seriously sometimes and putting too much pressure on myself doesn’t help either.Where did you pick up the habits and why?
Along the way I’ve learned unfortunately that you can’t trust people, which made me rely on myself only, which can create a barrier between me and the people that can become a chosen family, potential business partners and future tribes. As we all know, you can’t go through life by yourself and a good leader always brings people together, and doesn't isolate themselves in an ivory tower. In the last few years I was lucky enough to meet and work with people that were there for me and were patient enough to build the trust I needed to open up. Needless to say it all started with me realizing that I need to reach out for better things and create different habits.How can you let go of what no longer serves you?
I identify my pattern and catch myself when old habits creep up. You know that feeling when you’re in no mood to go to the gym but you go anyway? It’s the same with every single thing in life. I catch myself wanting to just isolate and force myself to ask for help or accept help when offered. I don’t have to do everything myself.What do you need more of?
It’s okay to let someone else ease your burden and it doesn't mean that you’re less independent or that everyone has a hidden agenda. I need to allow other people to help me. At the end of the day sharing moments (good or bad) and creating memories is what life is all about.
You can adapt the questions above for anything. If we would be talking about relationships I’d tweak them as such:
What have you tried so far and why has it failed? Any common patterns or denominator(s)?
What are the traits and “types” of personality or people that keep coming back in your life and why?
Where/When did you pick up “your type” and why?
How can you let go of what no longer serves you?
What do you need more of from a healthy relationship?
Change is challenging, but letting go of what no longer serves you to make room for better opportunities can be deeply rewarding. I believe in you and know you can achieve more. Start with the questions above, revisit them every three months, and watch for changes. Bet on yourself and make this year the best one yet! Let’s go!
